The Beginning of the End
by oceancat
Summary: Allen takes a walk down memory lane. Oneshot.


**I don't own D.gray man.**

**Warning: this is very angsty.**

**The Beginning of the End**

**--Allen's POV--**

I walked down the cobbled street, looking but not seeing, lost in memories of the past and of the not so distant future. Memories from long ago in this place where it had all started. Where it will surely end.

There was an orphanage in this town, so much like mine, where I'd grown up until I ran away with the circus. There was the field where the circus tent had been put up when we had last visited this town. My last sane day. When everything was still normal. Back with Mana. In a world where my worst troubles were not getting enough of an audience. Back when everything was as close to perfect as it had ever been.

I remembered it clearly, as if it was only days ago and not years. That day had been ingraved into my mind. I remembered Mana and I walking down this street, laughing and talking about tonight's show as we headed back to the circus carriges; back home. I remembered the sudden cart coming out of no where, heading straight at my foster father.

I remembered the dark pit my father had been lowered slowly into, the pitying faces of the other circus workers after they had found out about the "accident". But even then I'd known that it was not so. Even then, I had realized that someone was watching me, waiting. Even then, even though I didn't realize it at the time, I had been special; chosen to play a significant role in history; chosen to save the world.

Even then as I pleaded for Mana to stay with me, I knew that it was hopeless. Finally, after I had killed the Mana Akuma, the very last shimmer of hope flickered and went out.

I realize now that my fate was decided the second I was born with this ugly hand; when I first met the Earl; when Heburaska predicted my prophecy as the Destroyer of Time. I realize it only now as everything draws to an end. I realize now that I have no say in this; the higher forces have decided for me.

The world just wouldn't function if it wasn't for unlucky people like me. If it wasn't for unlucky people with chosen fates and miserable pasts, there would be no Accomodators, no Akuma, no wars. A world without wars is too good to be true. That's why there's a thing called Destiny, to make a balance between good and bad. That's why I was abandoned as a child, why Mana was killed, why I'm the one chosen to defeat the Earl. Because I'm just one of those unlucky people who got the short end of the stick; saving everyone but no one there to save me.

I have a feeling that today will be the end. Right where it had all started. The Graveyard, where normality ended and I entered the world of Akuma, Exorcists and Noah; the world of the damned; the world me and my friends are part of.

I know my friends have felt it too; the aura of doom that hung in our hotel room this morning. We all knew when Komui told us the latest news on the Earls movements; we all knew that this was the beginning of the end. They must have realized it because no one asked where I intended to go or tried to stop me. They must have realized that I must go alone.

I remember the faces of my friends one last time before the final encounter: my pointless fights with Kanda, Lavi's hyper attitude,Linali's sincere smile, Komui's crazy obsession over her, everyone gathered in the cafeteria to welcome me back from my first mission. All the happy times before all this gloom and misery. Now the fights with Kanda aren't pointless anymore, Lavi has turned serious, everyone's smiles are fake and there's no more time for silliness or celebration.

I wish to go back to those happy times: I miss those mornings when the sun shines through my window in the morning, I miss those carefree afternoons spent in the Library with Lavi, I miss the cafeteria and Jeryy's cooking, I miss strolling through the Order's halls, I miss the times when I had nothing better to do but argue with Kanda, I miss chatting with my comrades about petty problems, I even miss Komui's absurd inventions.

I think of my enemies: the pitiful Akuma with their trapped souls and the Noah who need to be saved just as much as the Akuma do -and suddenly I don't hate them anymore. Instead I want to save them, despite how many people they've killed; despite all the loved ones I've lost to them. I think of how awful it must be to be an Akuma, to kill the one who loved you most, to have no free will. I think of Tyki Mikk and about how he treasured his human friends even though they were supposed to be natural enemies. I think of Road Camelot, her love for her Noah family, her hate for Human kind, her obsession over me. And I know that deep down, they're as human as any of us.

I curse the Earl for doing this to them, doing this to all of us. I curse him for pulling all of us into his twisted play. I curse him for making people suffer, for the Akuma, for the Noah. For this war.

I promise myself that I'll save the Akuma, the Noah, Humanity, my friends. I promise to save everyone from suffering. I promise myself that I'll do my very best. I promise to keep walking until the very end.

I thank all the faithful people to die in battle: Anita and her crew, Suman,General Yeeger, Tapp, Daisha,all the hundreds of finders who's bodies were burned and not allowed to be returned home for a proper burial with their family. Their deaths shall not be in vain.

At last I reach my destination; the Graveyard. I push past the gates and weave past the tombstones towards the lone gravestone on the hill; the grave of Mana Walker. The familiar scene brings back the nightmares that tortured me in my sleep and found their way into every dream; but this time I welcome them; to see them one last time before the end. I walk up the hill to the gravestone. I remember the last time I was here, remember what I felt that day when the Earl had offered to bring back Mana, remember Cross inviting me to be an Exorcist.

I look back toward the town one final time and say one last goodbye to my friends just in case things don't turn out well. I know that he's been waiting here for me; the final battle, the end of the book. I know that it must be only me and him and no one else; this was decided before I was even born.

I touch the tombstone and trace the letters ingraved on it with my finger as I await the finale.

**Ok, that turned out Angstier than I thought. There was nothing I could do when inspiration hit.**

**Sorry I haven't been updateing my other stories. "The Fan, The Noah and The Exorcist" is going through a serious upgrade and I'm not inspired enough to write anything for that other story.**


End file.
